As usual didn't update, downloaded the blogger app it wouldn't even load. Makes me even lazier to update. Besides, there's really isn't any time to do so. Everyday is so packed with work, projects and homeworks and tests and quizzes and exams. And more of them. Update? Don't even have enough time to sleep! But despite the fact that tomorrow I have to wake up early for work, I kinda felt the urge to blog.
Today is a very disappointing, demoralising day for me. Haven't felt so useless for a very long time.
The topic for meat fabrication class today is pork, we were cutting pork center loin. I am extremely slow. Everybody is done with deboning and is moving on to tying the roast or denuting the sirloin yet I'm still there, barely halfway through the ribs. Had such a hard time deboning it. The meat just refused to come out nicely. It was frozen inside, held the meat till my hands are numb and blistered. Cut and cut, no progress still. Felt so frustrated why I am the only one so slow. Everybody seems to have no difficulty in this yet I can't do it. Finally get it out with the help of my partner, he cut his finger in the process.. Feel so bad about it.. Especially when the blood keep flowing and filled the glove with it :( The rest, tying the roast, portioning, denuting wasn't that hard. But I'm already depressed. Chef is happy with my overall product but I'm not.
Went to meet boyfriend and his parents in town, stuck in traffic jam for 1 and a half hour, doesn't make me feel better. They were buying clothes for holiday, a trip to Switzerland, dubai, germany and france, somewhere I can't afford to go now.. His mum got me a very expensive winter jacket, same design and colour as his for my california trip. Early christmas present. I supposed that did cheer me up a little.. Then we went for dinner at this very interesting Japanese pasta restaurant. Italian style but with Japanese methods and flavour. Not very pricey yet delicious and the portion is big. I totally forgot about the unhappiness. Until just now. I recalled that the grades is out. So I went to check it out. Everything was very good, almost full marks or close to it except for my finals which I just passed. It pulled my entire grade down. A lot. I could have gotten A, distinction but I can't. All because I didn't study hard enough, I was too tired the night before so I just went to bed without studying and only look through it before the test. Underestimated the MCQ.
Although now I have A-, I really could have gotten better grades if I can at least get 2 or 3 more questions correct. Can't help but think that I really should have read more but its really too late. Just so disappointed. The final result is not entirely out yet cause the system can't process a few of the components, but no matter how I calculate, I can never hit the percentage. Stupid me.
My classmates are very nice, comforting me. I know there's really nothing I can do now, but can't help but feeling down at the moment.. All I need is one mark. Will there be a miracle?
