I've decided now.. To do this :)
This song inspired me :)
Sweet sliver lining by kate voegele
I'm going home downhearted and hoping
I'm close to some new beginning
I know there's a reason for everything that comes and goes
But so many people are looking to me
To be strong and to fight but I'm just surviving
I may be weak but I'm never defeated
And I'll keep believing in clouds with that sweet silver lining
Most days I try my best to put on a brave face
But inside my bones are cold and my heart breaks
But all the while something's keeping me safe and alive
But so many people are looking to me
To be strong and to fight but I'm just surviving
I may be weak but I'm never defeated
And I'll keep believing in clouds with that sweet silver lining
And I won't give up like this, I will be given strength
Now that I've found it nothing can take that away
So many people are looking to me
To be strong and to fight but I'm just surviving
I may be weak but I'm never defeated
And I'll keep believing
So many people are looking to me
To be strong and to fight but i'm just surviving
I may be weak but I'm never defeated
And I'll keep believing in clouds with that sweet silver lining
Sweet silver lining
Friday, June 25, 2010
HAIZ
Why do you have to keep confusing me?
I don't find it funny or interesting at all..
Keep lying and lying, in the end I also know its not the truth so what for lie?
I was actually feeling fine today, for a change, and you just have to...
Sigh..
Don't wanna say anymore.. Just make me feel worse?
What do you want from me actually? :(
I don't find it funny or interesting at all..
Keep lying and lying, in the end I also know its not the truth so what for lie?
I was actually feeling fine today, for a change, and you just have to...
Sigh..
Don't wanna say anymore.. Just make me feel worse?
What do you want from me actually? :(
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Aly & Aj - No one
I just found a song that is damn nice!
Aly & Aj No one
I'm moving through the crowd
Trying to find myself
I feel like a guitar that's never played
Will someone strum away?
And I ask myself, who do I wanna be?
Do I wanna throw away the key?
And invent a whole new me and I tell myself
No one, no one, don't wanna be
No one, but me
You are moving through the crowd
Trying to find yourself
Feelin' like a doll left on a shelf
Will someone take you down?
And you ask yourself, who do I wanna be?
Do I wanna throw away the key?
And invent a whole new me, gotta tell yourself
No one, no one, don't wanna be
No one, but me
Your life plays out on the shadows of the wall
You turn the light on to erase it all
You wonder what's it's like to not feel worthless
So open all the blinds and all the curtains
No one, no one, don't wanna be
No one, but me
We are moving through the crowd
All their songs are nice too :)
You can listen to the songs @ http://www.jango.com/music/Aly+AJ :)
Aly & Aj No one
I'm moving through the crowd
Trying to find myself
I feel like a guitar that's never played
Will someone strum away?
And I ask myself, who do I wanna be?
Do I wanna throw away the key?
And invent a whole new me and I tell myself
No one, no one, don't wanna be
No one, but me
You are moving through the crowd
Trying to find yourself
Feelin' like a doll left on a shelf
Will someone take you down?
And you ask yourself, who do I wanna be?
Do I wanna throw away the key?
And invent a whole new me, gotta tell yourself
No one, no one, don't wanna be
No one, but me
Your life plays out on the shadows of the wall
You turn the light on to erase it all
You wonder what's it's like to not feel worthless
So open all the blinds and all the curtains
No one, no one, don't wanna be
No one, but me
We are moving through the crowd
All their songs are nice too :)
You can listen to the songs @ http://www.jango.com/music/Aly+AJ :)
ding dong bell
So much things on my mind lately.. How to stop thinking when so many things happening at the same time? D:
Just feel like screaming AHHHHHH.
Felt like escaping to a deserted island?
Where is such island available here?
Today I asked mum if I can travel to another country, and the answer is obviously no.
Sad. I wonder why my siblings always get to do the things that I can't?
Cause of my health?
Or just that she just don't feel secure?
Hmmmm. Really don't know..
She says she love me that's why she do that..
How to argue with that theory?
Everywhere in this world also not safe, so I can only stay at home and rot :(
Just feel like screaming AHHHHHH.
Felt like escaping to a deserted island?
Where is such island available here?
Today I asked mum if I can travel to another country, and the answer is obviously no.
Sad. I wonder why my siblings always get to do the things that I can't?
Cause of my health?
Or just that she just don't feel secure?
Hmmmm. Really don't know..
She says she love me that's why she do that..
How to argue with that theory?
Everywhere in this world also not safe, so I can only stay at home and rot :(
after so long
Is this for real or just for the sake? Cause it seems so unreal.. Can I still believe?
Today I'm not so emo, feeling better just very tired..
Managed to cheer up a little..
Hopefully I'll become me again soon though I don't know when that will be..
Update later..
Today I'm not so emo, feeling better just very tired..
Managed to cheer up a little..
Hopefully I'll become me again soon though I don't know when that will be..
Update later..
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
:) = :(
I hope I will not be so emo soon cause its just not the girl I am and not what I wanna be.. Alright, I will not think about anything else except work. Why bother about something or somebody who don't bother about you right? Come internal locus of control.. Let's see how strong you are :)
Listen to the rhythm of the rain
Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain
Telling me just what a fool I've been
I wish that it would go away and let me cry in vain
And let me be alone again
The only girl I care about has gone away
Looking for a brand new start
But little does she know
That when she left that day
Along with her she took my heart
Rain please tell me now does that seem fair
For her to steal my heart away when she don't care
I can't love another when my heart's somewhere far away
The only girl I care about has gone away
Looking for a brand new start
But little does she know
That when she left that day
Along with her she took my heart
Rain won't you tell her that I love her so
Please ask the sun to set her heart aglow
Rain in her heart and let the love we knew start to grow
Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain
Telling me just what a fool I've been
I wish that it would go and let me cry in vain
And let me be alone again
Oh, listen to the falling rain
Pitter pater, pitter pater
Oh, oh, oh, listen to the falling rain
Pitter pater, pitter pater
Telling me just what a fool I've been
I wish that it would go away and let me cry in vain
And let me be alone again
The only girl I care about has gone away
Looking for a brand new start
But little does she know
That when she left that day
Along with her she took my heart
Rain please tell me now does that seem fair
For her to steal my heart away when she don't care
I can't love another when my heart's somewhere far away
The only girl I care about has gone away
Looking for a brand new start
But little does she know
That when she left that day
Along with her she took my heart
Rain won't you tell her that I love her so
Please ask the sun to set her heart aglow
Rain in her heart and let the love we knew start to grow
Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain
Telling me just what a fool I've been
I wish that it would go and let me cry in vain
And let me be alone again
Oh, listen to the falling rain
Pitter pater, pitter pater
Oh, oh, oh, listen to the falling rain
Pitter pater, pitter pater
this is the last straw
Really, I have enough of being unhappy.
Nobody can help me except for myself..
Soon, I'll master the art of pretending to be happy.. At least people around me won't be affected by me.. Not fair for them to feel unhappy cause I wasn't happy..
Today, wasn't such a good day..
Work is a mess somehow though I thought I was managing well, apparently in others' eyes, its clearly not enough. In fact it was terrible.
Received black faces all day..
Tried to look happy but its just too fake.
Laughed so hard so that I won't cry.
Sigh, why am I so weak?
Think so much then get affected by every single thing that doesn't even mean anything to the other party..
Hmmmm.. I'm such a easy target I guess..
Today stove caught fire like more than five? And the wooden spoon was placed on the stove with the fire and its not surprising black smoke is coming out of it.. However the exhaust was quick today so the smoke was all suck in and leaving no evidence behind.. Scary.. Had to put out the fire with water.. Sigh.. As if my day wasn't bad enough.. But hey, I didn't start the fire.. I'm innocent :)
People tried to cheer me up, I end up making them emo as well. -.-" So nice of me -.-" HAIZ. What can I say? I'll get over this soon I hope.. Go home that time at MRT station, some uncle come to me and ask if I'm from China and whether I'm !!!!!!!. HATE THEM. Go away! Which part of me looks like I'm doing such thing? Plus he stalked me from one exit to another.. This week work all end late.. Hope I won't see him tomorrow :( With luck like mine, damn, it sure will have.. :(
Recently don't have appetite to eat.. Weird although the food looks very delicious and appealing, just don't feel like eating.. But it's still shocking to found out that my only meat are disappearing, seriously just left bones.. Can only see bones. Gosh. No wonder I feel weak and getting falling sick.. My time's up? Maybe its not that a bad idea to break all the connections.. Less people will get hurt..
Its really scary to see that you're left with nothing, your body also left with nothing D: Someday say I'm suffering from malnutrition, and is going to be my nutritionist till I'm normal again. When I'll become normal that's a really good question? Haha. It's still very nice of him :) Felt much better..
Its so late in the night right now and I can't even sleep :( I just said it.. Now I don't know what to do.. Sigh. All these seems like my daily routine now, keep doing keep thinking the same thing..
There's something I've been trying to say.. But its just too late.. And I don't wanna try anymore.. Its just too tiring playing all these mind games.. I can never understand what you trying to say since you never say what's on your mind.. It's just pointless to do things that nobody cares about except yourself.. Isn't it?
Nobody can help me except for myself..
Soon, I'll master the art of pretending to be happy.. At least people around me won't be affected by me.. Not fair for them to feel unhappy cause I wasn't happy..
Today, wasn't such a good day..
Work is a mess somehow though I thought I was managing well, apparently in others' eyes, its clearly not enough. In fact it was terrible.
Received black faces all day..
Tried to look happy but its just too fake.
Laughed so hard so that I won't cry.
Sigh, why am I so weak?
Think so much then get affected by every single thing that doesn't even mean anything to the other party..
Hmmmm.. I'm such a easy target I guess..
Today stove caught fire like more than five? And the wooden spoon was placed on the stove with the fire and its not surprising black smoke is coming out of it.. However the exhaust was quick today so the smoke was all suck in and leaving no evidence behind.. Scary.. Had to put out the fire with water.. Sigh.. As if my day wasn't bad enough.. But hey, I didn't start the fire.. I'm innocent :)
People tried to cheer me up, I end up making them emo as well. -.-" So nice of me -.-" HAIZ. What can I say? I'll get over this soon I hope.. Go home that time at MRT station, some uncle come to me and ask if I'm from China and whether I'm !!!!!!!. HATE THEM. Go away! Which part of me looks like I'm doing such thing? Plus he stalked me from one exit to another.. This week work all end late.. Hope I won't see him tomorrow :( With luck like mine, damn, it sure will have.. :(
Recently don't have appetite to eat.. Weird although the food looks very delicious and appealing, just don't feel like eating.. But it's still shocking to found out that my only meat are disappearing, seriously just left bones.. Can only see bones. Gosh. No wonder I feel weak and getting falling sick.. My time's up? Maybe its not that a bad idea to break all the connections.. Less people will get hurt..
Its really scary to see that you're left with nothing, your body also left with nothing D: Someday say I'm suffering from malnutrition, and is going to be my nutritionist till I'm normal again. When I'll become normal that's a really good question? Haha. It's still very nice of him :) Felt much better..
Its so late in the night right now and I can't even sleep :( I just said it.. Now I don't know what to do.. Sigh. All these seems like my daily routine now, keep doing keep thinking the same thing..
There's something I've been trying to say.. But its just too late.. And I don't wanna try anymore.. Its just too tiring playing all these mind games.. I can never understand what you trying to say since you never say what's on your mind.. It's just pointless to do things that nobody cares about except yourself.. Isn't it?
Monday, June 21, 2010
i surrender manos al aire
That's right.. I'm giving up on everything..
Won't believe there's such thing as true love.
Love don't last forever..
Won't believe that dreams will come true someday cause they don't..
Won't believe that you'll change cause you never will..
I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again..
I don't even know if I'll be back..
I loved you enough to let you go
Love you enough to know that I'm not the right one for you
Not the one that you wanna
Not the one you love..
Not the one for you..
I don't want to get hurt anymore
So I'm running away first..
Catch me if you can..
But I doubt you will cause for me to get out of your life is all you ever wanted..
I can't turn to anyone at this state..
Can't tell anyone just stuck inside till I burst..
I hope that day come soon cause there won't be anymore me to irritate anyone
You're finally free..
After thinking so long..
You're finally free..
Just stop killing me..
I already knew that
You don't have to say it all over again..
I know when to get lost quietly..
I'll just say everything I can remember that I wanna say for the last time..
And you won't hear from me anymore..
I'm tired of crying tired of hurting tired of dying
If you wanna kill me, just get it right at one go, don't torture me like this..
I'm really tired..
I wish I can be happy..
And that's just too much to ask for..
Knew it was too good to be true that anyone would actually fall for a girl like me
I'm no longer confident.. Everything I do keep going wrong..
Everything I say makes things worse and they don't really mean what I wanna say..
People are using me for various purposes..
Is anybody going to save me
Can anyone save me?
I'm dying of pain..
Left with nothing but a empty shell..
Won't believe there's such thing as true love.
Love don't last forever..
Won't believe that dreams will come true someday cause they don't..
Won't believe that you'll change cause you never will..
I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again..
I don't even know if I'll be back..
I loved you enough to let you go
Love you enough to know that I'm not the right one for you
Not the one that you wanna
Not the one you love..
Not the one for you..
I don't want to get hurt anymore
So I'm running away first..
Catch me if you can..
But I doubt you will cause for me to get out of your life is all you ever wanted..
I can't turn to anyone at this state..
Can't tell anyone just stuck inside till I burst..
I hope that day come soon cause there won't be anymore me to irritate anyone
You're finally free..
After thinking so long..
You're finally free..
Just stop killing me..
I already knew that
You don't have to say it all over again..
I know when to get lost quietly..
I'll just say everything I can remember that I wanna say for the last time..
And you won't hear from me anymore..
I'm tired of crying tired of hurting tired of dying
If you wanna kill me, just get it right at one go, don't torture me like this..
I'm really tired..
I wish I can be happy..
And that's just too much to ask for..
Knew it was too good to be true that anyone would actually fall for a girl like me
I'm no longer confident.. Everything I do keep going wrong..
Everything I say makes things worse and they don't really mean what I wanna say..
People are using me for various purposes..
Is anybody going to save me
Can anyone save me?
I'm dying of pain..
Left with nothing but a empty shell..
DAMN im emo again D:
I tried to be perfect it just doesn't worth it..
One day I'll turn around, I'll see your hand reached out, I'm only fooling myself..
Sigh.. Why do I feel so sad.
Can't do anything today..
Kept thinking about things that I shouldn't be..
Feel like banging wall.. Oh wait. I already did..
Today work kept forgetting what I'm supposed to do..
The things I did can never get any smiley face from them..
Another black face.. Another lousy day..
Been daydreaming too much I guess..
Think and dream too much about things that obviously not gonna happen..
Sigh. That's why they're called dream and dream never comes true..
Too good to be true..
That's what I thought too..
Been trying to fool myself saying that I will not be unhappy..
However just like loneliness, unhappiness know me by name too :(
Its just so hard to stay happy even for a second..
Life's so great that I feel like crying..
The good thing about crying is that you'll feel much better usually after crying out loud..
BUT I have problems for crying too.. What a problematic child :(
1. Can't cry at home cause parents will ask too much, tired of saying its cause of stress..
2. Cry outside people kept staring.. If at night can't stay out too late and there's stray cats staring :(
3. I've cried so much that I think I forgot how to cry now.. No more tears left..
Guess that I'm used to getting and being hurt..
Just one day.. All I'm asking for is just one day..
To be really happy.
And I really don't mind dying after that cause for the first time, I'm finally happy..
Somehow this is also a dream that will never come true though..
He won't give me happiness, I can't find it from anybody or anywhere else too..
Sometimes I really wonder what's wrong with me..
Yeah I know I think too much and I've come to realise from this experience..
If airplanes in the night sky are shooting stars, I can really use a wish right now :(
I don't know what else to do I'm confused I'm hurt I'm depressed I'm disappointed
So I'm running away..
From now on I won't be me anymore
I will just plaster a smile on the face no matter what..
I don't want to think don't want to dream don't want to talk don't want to say don't want to listen don't want to see anymore..
I'm tired of the way I'm being treated
I'm tired of being substitute
I'm tired of being unhappy cause of you
I'm tired of being disappointed again and again and again and again..
I know everything by now.. It's crystal clear.. So clear that it just pierce me right through my already broken heart..
When can I ever be important to someone?
Be important enough to be treated well?
Why am I always being lied to?
What makes you think I won't know the truth?
It's staring straight at me but I just choose not to believe..
Now even if I try to ignore it keeps coming back..
You're never willing..
To be good to me..
One day I'll turn around, I'll see your hand reached out, I'm only fooling myself..
Sigh.. Why do I feel so sad.
Can't do anything today..
Kept thinking about things that I shouldn't be..
Feel like banging wall.. Oh wait. I already did..
Today work kept forgetting what I'm supposed to do..
The things I did can never get any smiley face from them..
Another black face.. Another lousy day..
Been daydreaming too much I guess..
Think and dream too much about things that obviously not gonna happen..
Sigh. That's why they're called dream and dream never comes true..
Too good to be true..
That's what I thought too..
Been trying to fool myself saying that I will not be unhappy..
However just like loneliness, unhappiness know me by name too :(
Its just so hard to stay happy even for a second..
Life's so great that I feel like crying..
The good thing about crying is that you'll feel much better usually after crying out loud..
BUT I have problems for crying too.. What a problematic child :(
1. Can't cry at home cause parents will ask too much, tired of saying its cause of stress..
2. Cry outside people kept staring.. If at night can't stay out too late and there's stray cats staring :(
3. I've cried so much that I think I forgot how to cry now.. No more tears left..
Guess that I'm used to getting and being hurt..
Just one day.. All I'm asking for is just one day..
To be really happy.
And I really don't mind dying after that cause for the first time, I'm finally happy..
Somehow this is also a dream that will never come true though..
He won't give me happiness, I can't find it from anybody or anywhere else too..
Sometimes I really wonder what's wrong with me..
Yeah I know I think too much and I've come to realise from this experience..
If airplanes in the night sky are shooting stars, I can really use a wish right now :(
I don't know what else to do I'm confused I'm hurt I'm depressed I'm disappointed
So I'm running away..
From now on I won't be me anymore
I will just plaster a smile on the face no matter what..
I don't want to think don't want to dream don't want to talk don't want to say don't want to listen don't want to see anymore..
I'm tired of the way I'm being treated
I'm tired of being substitute
I'm tired of being unhappy cause of you
I'm tired of being disappointed again and again and again and again..
I know everything by now.. It's crystal clear.. So clear that it just pierce me right through my already broken heart..
When can I ever be important to someone?
Be important enough to be treated well?
Why am I always being lied to?
What makes you think I won't know the truth?
It's staring straight at me but I just choose not to believe..
Now even if I try to ignore it keeps coming back..
You're never willing..
To be good to me..
Mixed and match
Currently, I can't sleep.. My dream shoes is giving me a hard time :( but i still ♥ it anyway. Heh. Will get used to it.. ONE DAY! :) Almost stuck outside for the night.. T.T
Suddenly got the temptation to write something that consists nothing by lyrics.. Hmmm.. I bet only me will understand what I'm actually trying to say? Who knows.. Just waiting for my hair to drryyyyy~~
I'm over your lies
And I'm over yours games
And I'm over you asking me when you know I'm not okay
Oh, that's why your eyes I'm over it
So sure I'm over it
Realised, I'm over it, I'm over it
Wanting you to wanting me
No that's ain't the way to be
How I feel, read my lips
Cause I'm so over
Moving on it's my time
You never were a friend of mine
Hurt at first, a little bit
But now I'm so over
I'm so over it~
I'm not your anchor so don't hold on
I'm not the answer, you got me wrong
I'm not your savior, save your energy
To find out who you are, who you are without me
I'm not a mirror look inside yourself
I'm not a hero you know too well
I'm not your savior save your energy
To find out who you are, who you are without me
And I still believe in happy endings
But this just isn't where I wanna spend mine
I believe in now I just said it
You'll be mine, forever and almost always
It ain't right to love me when you can, yeah
I won't wait patiently
I won't wake up everyday just hoping that you still care
We started as friends, but something happens inside me
Now I'm reading into everything but there's no sign of you hear the lightening baby
You don't ever notice me, turning on my charm
I wonder why I always where you are
I made it obvious
Done everything but sing it
I'm not so good with words
But since you never noticed
The way that we belonged
I'll sing it in a love song
I'm not the girl that you see in the magazine
Perfect face and perfect body
Never be anything but what I am, what I am
I can't bend to your expection
Look to fulfill any fantasy
But if what I am is what you need
Love me for me
And not for someone you wished that I could be
Cause what you get is what you see
I can't be anymore that what I am
Love me for me, or don't love me
According to you I'm stupid I'm useless I can't do anything right
According to you I'm difficult hard to please, forever changing my mind
I'm a mess in a dress can't show up on time
Even if it saves my life, according to you
According to you I'm boring I'm moody, you can't take me any place
According to you I suck at telling jokes cause I always give it away
According to you, according to you
But according to him
I'm beautiful incredible, he can't get me out of his head
But according to him
I'm funny, irresistible
Everything he ever wanted
Everything is opposite
I don't feel like stopping it
Baby tell me what I got to lose
He's into me for everything I'm not
According to you
Oh no, don't go changing
That's what you told me from the start
Thought you were something different
That's when it all just fell apart
Like you're so perfect and I can't measure up
Well I'm not perfect, just all messed up
I was losing myself to somebody else
But now I see
I don't want to pretend so this is the end for you and me
Cause the girl that you want
She was tearing us apart
Cause she's everything everything I'm not
She can't see the way your eyes
Light up when you smile
She'll never notice how you stop and stare
Whenever she walks by
You can't see me wanting you the way you want her
But you're everything to me
I just wanna show you she don't even know you
She'll never love you like I want to
You just see right through me
If you only knew me
We could be a beautiful miracle unbelievable
Instead of just invisible
WOW. Just realised all emo songs :/ oh well.. What else do you expect from a emo kid?
But I haven't reach what I really wanna post though x.x and it's like 1.46am already.. Not tired but nothing else left to do.. Except to continue to blog and rot or go roll and sleep. D: Either way I'm stuck with emptiness.. All these songs are seriously tempting me to go SING :D But my voice sucks :( T.T SAD.
Suddenly got the temptation to write something that consists nothing by lyrics.. Hmmm.. I bet only me will understand what I'm actually trying to say? Who knows.. Just waiting for my hair to drryyyyy~~
I'm over your lies
And I'm over yours games
And I'm over you asking me when you know I'm not okay
Oh, that's why your eyes I'm over it
So sure I'm over it
Realised, I'm over it, I'm over it
Wanting you to wanting me
No that's ain't the way to be
How I feel, read my lips
Cause I'm so over
Moving on it's my time
You never were a friend of mine
Hurt at first, a little bit
But now I'm so over
I'm so over it~
I'm not your anchor so don't hold on
I'm not the answer, you got me wrong
I'm not your savior, save your energy
To find out who you are, who you are without me
I'm not a mirror look inside yourself
I'm not a hero you know too well
I'm not your savior save your energy
To find out who you are, who you are without me
And I still believe in happy endings
But this just isn't where I wanna spend mine
I believe in now I just said it
You'll be mine, forever and almost always
It ain't right to love me when you can, yeah
I won't wait patiently
I won't wake up everyday just hoping that you still care
We started as friends, but something happens inside me
Now I'm reading into everything but there's no sign of you hear the lightening baby
You don't ever notice me, turning on my charm
I wonder why I always where you are
I made it obvious
Done everything but sing it
I'm not so good with words
But since you never noticed
The way that we belonged
I'll sing it in a love song
I'm not the girl that you see in the magazine
Perfect face and perfect body
Never be anything but what I am, what I am
I can't bend to your expection
Look to fulfill any fantasy
But if what I am is what you need
Love me for me
And not for someone you wished that I could be
Cause what you get is what you see
I can't be anymore that what I am
Love me for me, or don't love me
According to you I'm stupid I'm useless I can't do anything right
According to you I'm difficult hard to please, forever changing my mind
I'm a mess in a dress can't show up on time
Even if it saves my life, according to you
According to you I'm boring I'm moody, you can't take me any place
According to you I suck at telling jokes cause I always give it away
According to you, according to you
But according to him
I'm beautiful incredible, he can't get me out of his head
But according to him
I'm funny, irresistible
Everything he ever wanted
Everything is opposite
I don't feel like stopping it
Baby tell me what I got to lose
He's into me for everything I'm not
According to you
Oh no, don't go changing
That's what you told me from the start
Thought you were something different
That's when it all just fell apart
Like you're so perfect and I can't measure up
Well I'm not perfect, just all messed up
I was losing myself to somebody else
But now I see
I don't want to pretend so this is the end for you and me
Cause the girl that you want
She was tearing us apart
Cause she's everything everything I'm not
She can't see the way your eyes
Light up when you smile
She'll never notice how you stop and stare
Whenever she walks by
You can't see me wanting you the way you want her
But you're everything to me
I just wanna show you she don't even know you
She'll never love you like I want to
You just see right through me
If you only knew me
We could be a beautiful miracle unbelievable
Instead of just invisible
WOW. Just realised all emo songs :/ oh well.. What else do you expect from a emo kid?
But I haven't reach what I really wanna post though x.x and it's like 1.46am already.. Not tired but nothing else left to do.. Except to continue to blog and rot or go roll and sleep. D: Either way I'm stuck with emptiness.. All these songs are seriously tempting me to go SING :D But my voice sucks :( T.T SAD.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
New songs to listen :)
Lovely songs that I have come across recently.. Might upload the lyrics?
If I have time.. :)
1. Manos Al Aire By Nelly Furtado
2. Need You Now By Lady Antebellum
3. Solo By Iyaz
4. Almost Love By Jessica Jarrell
5. Kissing You By Miranda Cosgrove
6. According To You By Orianthi
7. Cry By Kelly Clarkson
8. Gone By Kelly Clarkson
9. Come Clean By Hilary Duff
10. Over it By Katherine Mcphee
I'll add more plus lyrics next time :) Need rush to work now -__-
If I have time.. :)
1. Manos Al Aire By Nelly Furtado
2. Need You Now By Lady Antebellum
3. Solo By Iyaz
4. Almost Love By Jessica Jarrell
5. Kissing You By Miranda Cosgrove
6. According To You By Orianthi
7. Cry By Kelly Clarkson
8. Gone By Kelly Clarkson
9. Come Clean By Hilary Duff
10. Over it By Katherine Mcphee
I'll add more plus lyrics next time :) Need rush to work now -__-
0.0
So I've posted 4 posts already. That was fast? Wonder is it because I haven't been typing for so long that it feels kinda weird to type again :X
I missed band, I missed my eupho. And I missed........ OH well. I'm not telling you. Just things that I won't tell anyone :( No matter how you ask.. Sigh. That's why I need to screammmmm. SIGH.
Need to wake up in like 8 hours to go work but I can't sleep.. Feeling too depressed :( Sigh. Why do I keep feeling this way.. Emo kid seriously. Somehow I lost my smile along the way.. The real smile. The sense of happiness.. To be happy and to be loved is such a luxury to me.
Am I really not worth to be treated well? :'( And you asked me why I'm sad..
Heart pain again.. Recently the frequency is getting more and more.. Maybe, I'm dying soon? End my misery soon.. Okay, it's too pain to type now.. I shall try to sleep.. Wonder if I can wake up tomorrow. Very pain..
I missed band, I missed my eupho. And I missed........ OH well. I'm not telling you. Just things that I won't tell anyone :( No matter how you ask.. Sigh. That's why I need to screammmmm. SIGH.
Need to wake up in like 8 hours to go work but I can't sleep.. Feeling too depressed :( Sigh. Why do I keep feeling this way.. Emo kid seriously. Somehow I lost my smile along the way.. The real smile. The sense of happiness.. To be happy and to be loved is such a luxury to me.
Am I really not worth to be treated well? :'( And you asked me why I'm sad..
Heart pain again.. Recently the frequency is getting more and more.. Maybe, I'm dying soon? End my misery soon.. Okay, it's too pain to type now.. I shall try to sleep.. Wonder if I can wake up tomorrow. Very pain..
im 19..
Some little tiny updates about my birthday..
Day before, my chef bought me a cake and have a small celebration.. Gave me a surprise when I reached. SO sweet of them..
On that day itself, was supposed to meet him. But cancelled. So went out with Hw for lunch and sing. Variety of songs quite limited though so can't sing much emo songs. Dots. After that went to new york new york with family.. Had some fun there..
Received a cup with a bear stuff inside by my sister, 2 hongbao from mum and brother, a fan from dad..
Next day at work, one of my chef gave me a wallet.. The other say he helped me peel onions as present. Haha. Service colleague one made me drink, one gave me a hug. Unique presents, things that you can't buy..
Friday went out with wingyan.. She came in the middle of service to pass me the cake which is supposed to be stored in the fridge.. After work, she came over again and we went to find a place to eat.. Walked around raffles place, finally settled for lau pa sa.. Walked inside very long then decide what to eat. Had chinese dim sum.. The chee chong fun very nice :D
After that we had her cake. Peach cheese cake. Very nice. I helped her garnish. Cut the peach randomly placed on the cake and it looks like a rose :) Maybe I'm just lucky heh. Then she gave me a apron, and a handmade card with my pic. SO SWEET OF HER right.. I got a cake that she made and present <3
Walked around raffles again.. To clarke quay, act like couples saw a few taking wedding shots. Hmmmm... Then we sit down and take pics too.. Went back to raffles place.. Take more pictures.. With her cap! Haha. I so wanted to wear contact lens now :D Anyone can recommend? Hmmmm..
Best day ever. She can make me smile anyday <3 And I just know what to do on hers :) It's a secret ^^
Day before, my chef bought me a cake and have a small celebration.. Gave me a surprise when I reached. SO sweet of them..
On that day itself, was supposed to meet him. But cancelled. So went out with Hw for lunch and sing. Variety of songs quite limited though so can't sing much emo songs. Dots. After that went to new york new york with family.. Had some fun there..
Received a cup with a bear stuff inside by my sister, 2 hongbao from mum and brother, a fan from dad..
Next day at work, one of my chef gave me a wallet.. The other say he helped me peel onions as present. Haha. Service colleague one made me drink, one gave me a hug. Unique presents, things that you can't buy..
Friday went out with wingyan.. She came in the middle of service to pass me the cake which is supposed to be stored in the fridge.. After work, she came over again and we went to find a place to eat.. Walked around raffles place, finally settled for lau pa sa.. Walked inside very long then decide what to eat. Had chinese dim sum.. The chee chong fun very nice :D
After that we had her cake. Peach cheese cake. Very nice. I helped her garnish. Cut the peach randomly placed on the cake and it looks like a rose :) Maybe I'm just lucky heh. Then she gave me a apron, and a handmade card with my pic. SO SWEET OF HER right.. I got a cake that she made and present <3
Walked around raffles again.. To clarke quay, act like couples saw a few taking wedding shots. Hmmmm... Then we sit down and take pics too.. Went back to raffles place.. Take more pictures.. With her cap! Haha. I so wanted to wear contact lens now :D Anyone can recommend? Hmmmm..
Best day ever. She can make me smile anyday <3 And I just know what to do on hers :) It's a secret ^^
What I wanna do right now
I wanna.....
1. Go cycling
2. Go pinic
3. BE HAPPY
4. Ice skating
5. Fly kite
6. Walk along the beach during sunset :D
7. Run away to some deserted island and hide
8. Lie on the grass and look at the stars at night
9. Graduate successfully
10. Passed internship module without any problems
11. Travel around Singapore
12. Travel around the world
13. Scream
14. Go sing LALALALALA~
15. Ice cream <3
16. Buy that dress http://www.shoplah.com/Dresses/Y8548.htm
17. Get headphones and get stuck in my own world :)
18. To stop being sick
19. To stop crying
20. To be really really happy
21. Wingyan's cap D: ( But she'll help me buy ^^)
If anyone interested to help me with any of the above, I'll be glad to have some accompaniment. And I sure hope you can cheer me up!
1. Go cycling
2. Go pinic
3. BE HAPPY
4. Ice skating
5. Fly kite
6. Walk along the beach during sunset :D
7. Run away to some deserted island and hide
8. Lie on the grass and look at the stars at night
9. Graduate successfully
10. Passed internship module without any problems
11. Travel around Singapore
12. Travel around the world
13. Scream
14. Go sing LALALALALA~
15. Ice cream <3
16. Buy that dress http://www.shoplah.com/Dresses/Y8548.htm
17. Get headphones and get stuck in my own world :)
18. To stop being sick
19. To stop crying
20. To be really really happy
21. Wingyan's cap D: ( But she'll help me buy ^^)
If anyone interested to help me with any of the above, I'll be glad to have some accompaniment. And I sure hope you can cheer me up!
since i can't sleep..
Some other updates..
1. Didn't celebrate his birthday with him cause he cancelled.
2. Was miserable cause of alot things such as grandpa passed away in the middle of my intern and I wasn't informed earlier cause I was working
3. New responsibilities related to family
4. I keep getting sick
5. 1 year anniversary I was told that it doesn't matter
6. My birthday celebration was cancelled last minute by him, had to act like I don't care. Mood all gone.
7. Trying to act happy but failed badly
8. Alot of new songs described my mood perfectly, they're now either my ringtone or my status
9. I am confused about alot of things. One thing is GUYS.
10. I got my dream shoes, super extremely happy :)
11. Am exhausted, might be collapsing soon
12. I wanna buy that dress its very very gorgeous but don't will look good on me or not :/
13. I'm going better terms with family like my sister now which is a good thing but I still can't tell them what's killing me :(
Gosh. I'm depressed again D:
1. Didn't celebrate his birthday with him cause he cancelled.
2. Was miserable cause of alot things such as grandpa passed away in the middle of my intern and I wasn't informed earlier cause I was working
3. New responsibilities related to family
4. I keep getting sick
5. 1 year anniversary I was told that it doesn't matter
6. My birthday celebration was cancelled last minute by him, had to act like I don't care. Mood all gone.
7. Trying to act happy but failed badly
8. Alot of new songs described my mood perfectly, they're now either my ringtone or my status
9. I am confused about alot of things. One thing is GUYS.
10. I got my dream shoes, super extremely happy :)
11. Am exhausted, might be collapsing soon
12. I wanna buy that dress its very very gorgeous but don't will look good on me or not :/
13. I'm going better terms with family like my sister now which is a good thing but I still can't tell them what's killing me :(
Gosh. I'm depressed again D:
so outdated
Haven't update for like 1 month? There's nothing much to say about work since I have come to realise that its almost the same every single day.. Just some new updates about work..
1. One of my chef transferred to the club
2. I changed from the deep fryer station to the salad
3. New chef came.. From shatec, just one year older than me..
4. Kitchen finally become cleaner
5. We changed cleaner for more than 10times WOW
6. I have improved? I guess.. Maybe? I hope so..
I don't know what else to say about work.. I have see through it now.. As in, I have gotten used to the way things works. AND the way certain reaction you'll get if you do or say something..
Somehow they have the perception that school won't teach us such things like cooking, which is what I've been studying.. What school taught us, is the basic, and I know will definitely be different in the industry.. But doesn't mean that it's wrong. There are more than one way to do things. Its kinda obvious right? But here, you can't do your own way EVEN IF is better. They tell you not to learn what they're doing, however you have to do what they did. Which is confusing. Especially when everyone is doing different things and they expect you to do what they are doing as they believe they're right.
Hey, I'm not saying that you're wrong, but everyone have their own stand right? I can't follow blindly without knowing what I'm doing. But if ask too much I will received comments like you work here how long already still don't know? Sometimes I just don't want to make any mistakes and to prevent that I ask.. And that is what I got..
When everybody's in bad mood. Guess who gets it? The trainee of course! :( What to do? I'm just a trainee, I have no say.. That's why I got bullied also can't say anything. Not that it happens everyday.. But still.. That manager.. Sigh.
I realised people don't really like to take responsibility, whenever there's chance they'll push the blame to someone else.. Like me. Manager told me the other day that the customer complained about me.. Saying what he called me to call the service staff when in the first place he never even talk to me.
He waved. Yeah, I saw but I wasn't the service staff. ITS VERY VERY OBVIOUS SINCE I"M WEARING CHEF WHITE. Still, I turned my head, one head pouring drinks but facing guest. Manager walking towards him. The other staff taking orders but facing him as well. So there's THREE people looking at him right. So I continued to do my work as I was carrying alot of things at that time.
Oh, I was sent to collect things to do the mise en place by the way. But when I returned. 1. I got scolded for taking too many things saying the kitchen is too small but he say go take. 2. Manager say guest complain me. HOW GREAT?
Immediately my mood become very bad. I just keep quiet. I mean, you don't expect me to scream at them right? I tried to explain myself, but to them it's always either finding excuses or being rude. Kitchen can be noisy, with the machines working, water flowing, radio playing, people talking. Sometimes people can't hear what you talking so you speak louder. Aha. Once you become louder, they say you're being rude. Great.
My internal locus of control really need to be improved on.. Cause that day.. I was feeling very unhappy and with people keep saying and saying. I lost control of my tears.. Sigh. Embarrassed myself again. Too emotional.. :(
I tried my best, really to do well cause this is what I wanna do.. But. When your effort is not being appreciated, when they say you're forgetting what they taught when you didn't, when they say you're insulting your school cause you're so lousy in what you're doing, when you're being scolded for things that you didn't do, when you're just trying so badly to fit in and be happy.. And none of it goes exactly the way you planned it.. Its just depressing.. But you still have to smile and stuff everything else inside your small little heart hoping it won't burst..
That's why I am unhappy. Come to work happily, people give you black face all the way. Try to cheer them up, say jokes, they say you're not concentrating on your work. Concentrating on your work, they talk to you if your reply is not being heard, you're being rude. So you know what? My conclusion is, guys are weirder than girls. -.- Sigh. Just too complicated for me..
All these depressing stuff makes me wonder am I really suitable to be in this line.. So motivating not. I really like working here.. Just that its getting more and more demoralising.. Sad. Daph, please get used to these soon and be happy again..
1. One of my chef transferred to the club
2. I changed from the deep fryer station to the salad
3. New chef came.. From shatec, just one year older than me..
4. Kitchen finally become cleaner
5. We changed cleaner for more than 10times WOW
6. I have improved? I guess.. Maybe? I hope so..
I don't know what else to say about work.. I have see through it now.. As in, I have gotten used to the way things works. AND the way certain reaction you'll get if you do or say something..
Somehow they have the perception that school won't teach us such things like cooking, which is what I've been studying.. What school taught us, is the basic, and I know will definitely be different in the industry.. But doesn't mean that it's wrong. There are more than one way to do things. Its kinda obvious right? But here, you can't do your own way EVEN IF is better. They tell you not to learn what they're doing, however you have to do what they did. Which is confusing. Especially when everyone is doing different things and they expect you to do what they are doing as they believe they're right.
Hey, I'm not saying that you're wrong, but everyone have their own stand right? I can't follow blindly without knowing what I'm doing. But if ask too much I will received comments like you work here how long already still don't know? Sometimes I just don't want to make any mistakes and to prevent that I ask.. And that is what I got..
When everybody's in bad mood. Guess who gets it? The trainee of course! :( What to do? I'm just a trainee, I have no say.. That's why I got bullied also can't say anything. Not that it happens everyday.. But still.. That manager.. Sigh.
I realised people don't really like to take responsibility, whenever there's chance they'll push the blame to someone else.. Like me. Manager told me the other day that the customer complained about me.. Saying what he called me to call the service staff when in the first place he never even talk to me.
He waved. Yeah, I saw but I wasn't the service staff. ITS VERY VERY OBVIOUS SINCE I"M WEARING CHEF WHITE. Still, I turned my head, one head pouring drinks but facing guest. Manager walking towards him. The other staff taking orders but facing him as well. So there's THREE people looking at him right. So I continued to do my work as I was carrying alot of things at that time.
Oh, I was sent to collect things to do the mise en place by the way. But when I returned. 1. I got scolded for taking too many things saying the kitchen is too small but he say go take. 2. Manager say guest complain me. HOW GREAT?
Immediately my mood become very bad. I just keep quiet. I mean, you don't expect me to scream at them right? I tried to explain myself, but to them it's always either finding excuses or being rude. Kitchen can be noisy, with the machines working, water flowing, radio playing, people talking. Sometimes people can't hear what you talking so you speak louder. Aha. Once you become louder, they say you're being rude. Great.
My internal locus of control really need to be improved on.. Cause that day.. I was feeling very unhappy and with people keep saying and saying. I lost control of my tears.. Sigh. Embarrassed myself again. Too emotional.. :(
I tried my best, really to do well cause this is what I wanna do.. But. When your effort is not being appreciated, when they say you're forgetting what they taught when you didn't, when they say you're insulting your school cause you're so lousy in what you're doing, when you're being scolded for things that you didn't do, when you're just trying so badly to fit in and be happy.. And none of it goes exactly the way you planned it.. Its just depressing.. But you still have to smile and stuff everything else inside your small little heart hoping it won't burst..
That's why I am unhappy. Come to work happily, people give you black face all the way. Try to cheer them up, say jokes, they say you're not concentrating on your work. Concentrating on your work, they talk to you if your reply is not being heard, you're being rude. So you know what? My conclusion is, guys are weirder than girls. -.- Sigh. Just too complicated for me..
All these depressing stuff makes me wonder am I really suitable to be in this line.. So motivating not. I really like working here.. Just that its getting more and more demoralising.. Sad. Daph, please get used to these soon and be happy again..
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)