Supposed to be happily playing badminton..
But I think I should go for a long walk.. A few hours walk.. Maybe I can walk at least half of the country tomorrow.. Go back to the place where it started.. See if I can get my happiness back..
In just a few weeks, things have changed so much.. I feel so useless.. Maybe I really am..
Lost count of how many times I'm feeling depressed this year.. It's just not my year.. For a person who was born on Friday the 13th, how lucky can she be? Can't seems to do anything right..
Am I such a lousy person? I'm such a failure.. Can't even be a proper person..
So tired.. So lonely.. So.. sad. So scared.. But I can't turn to anyone..
Despite the fact that I hate to be alone, I'm always alone..
I'm so easily forgotten.. It had be proven..
Be it in school or anywhere else..
It's always me, myself, and I.
So I'm kinda used to keeping quiet now..
About things that happened or how I felt..
So what if I say them out, will anyone listen? No. Not like anyone is interested in how I am feeling.. Or what I am going through.. Isn't it better to shut up? No one will feel irritated with me talking.. Then everybody will be happy.
At least here.. I don't have to worry about who will be angry with me.. I can't see who is angry anyway.. Besides.. Do anyone else read this besides me? Ha. I doubt anyone will be interested in reading such a boring blog full of words and just words..
I think I've spent at least 1/3 of this year emo-ing and complaining about myself.. Who knows, my computer is tired of me saying all these.. Yeah, I'm going crazy. In the first place, I wasn't in the right state of mind anyway.. Maybe I'm crazy, that's why things became this way.. To the point where I don't know what I should do anymore.. What is right and what is wrong.. It's just a matter of perception..
Human beings, are so complicated. Life is so complicated. I wish I don't have to wake up from my dream.. At least in there, I'm happy, I don't have to cry every one or two days.. At least.. I don't have to be alone anymore..
