its eve

Last day of 2009 yet I'm feeling like _______ please fill in the blank.

Had a long day in school practicing for proficiency test.. Wanted to go out with friends but due to monetary restrictions I'm unable to do so.. Feel like sleeping whole day..

Now the mood is not something you wanna imagine. What can I say now? What should I say now? I don't know.. There's this temptation to give up.. But I don't want to.. Its.. such as waste.. And I still feel the same as I did that day.. But why is this happening?

I don't want to continue to 2010 in this mood, with these kind of feeling.. Waiting for a miracle to happen and I hope it will.. If it don't.. I don't know what I'll do.. 1 hour. Miracle, please happen now.. I really need your help alot right now.. Please save me. Save us..

yeah!!

No test this week! Thanks to everyone :)

Proficiency test next week.. Gotta work hard!

w-o-n-d-e-r-i-n-g

This blog was initially set up to record culinary practicum.. But in the end I stopped writing about them at about 5 -6 weeks later.. Talk about laziness..

I wonder if I can really finished something that I wanna do.. Its like.. For a period of time I was designing blog skins.. Then I set up blogshopS. Yes, with S. But so what? I helped my dad make one, and I've made 2.. But no business :( What is a blogSHOP without customers? Its no longer considered as a shop

Html is really fun.. And can change alot of things.. Wanted to create another blogshop with my latest master pieces, cards :D But holiday over I still haven't get started yet.. To think I actually went to download photoshop trial.. Sigh. But again.. This holiday I haven't been doing much.. I didn't even sleep much. Miracle. This holiday, surprisingly I woke up very early almost everyday.. And the worse thing is I can't fall asleep at night. Like now So you can see how lack of sleep I am. Plus school reopened.

Maybe I'll upload the cards some other days.. Its my own design! ^^ I don't want to make any promise anymore cause I don't know if I can keep it -.- Especially if its related to blog. Okay, I think only related to blog. HAHAHAHAHA.

I'm saving for a coffee machine for dad & washing machine with dryer function for mum.. I'll get the coffee machine with my first Intern pay :) It's time to show off the skills I acquire from being a bartender.. Hehe. Then my dad can try the premium coffee ^^

I guess I run out of things to say for the time being.. Will be back.. Some day.. Haha.

updates :)

Don't know why recently feel very tired.. So much to do :(

Most recent updates:

- went out with nas & syarf!!!!!

- submitted cover letter + resume

- went for interview

- accepted by both companies; Kitchen Language & Harry's International

- bought a new phone thanks to the help of ♥

- went to eat sushi buffet till stomach burst

- my relatives from Malaysia are here

- went to orchard on Christmas Eve to become sardine

- went out with ♥ on Christmas day :D

- rejected Kitchen Language

- went out with ben, audrey & ♥

- Signed contract with Harry's International

- exam results back: did better than I thought, As

- F&B operations project: A

- proficiency test coming up D:

- trying to postpone F&B op test but not sure if succeeded anot..

- rushing wine list

By the way.. I officially declare myself bankrupt. Until I start working for Intern, I guess I'll remained :(( Cause I can't get anything.. Sad. No income.. And I think my phone bill for the month exploded cause I was too happy about the contract and end up calling alot of people.. =.= Serve me right for "showing off" DOTS!

something that I already know

A song by backstreetboys.. Currently addicted to it.. :D

Ta da! The lyrics ^^

Here we are, seven days

And seven nights of empty tries

It's ritual, habitual

But it's never gonna work this time

We're to the point of no return

And along the way the only thing we've learned

Is how to hurt each other

I'm looking back and wondering why

It took so long to realize

That nothing's changed, it never will

All these years of standing still

And still we stay in all this pain

And nothing's gonna make it go away

I don't wanna wait another minute

Put me out of my misery

I can read your mind baby you're not in it

And we're not what we used to be

No, you wouldn't have to lie to me

If you would only let me go

And I don't wanna wait another minute to hear

Something that I already know

I know, I know, I know

Something that I already know

I know, I know, I know

So save your voice

Don't waste your breath

Can't you see we're at the end

And this goodbye is permanent

So wish me well and try to forget

And all the fights

And all the ways

We almost made it

But we never did

And it's finally come to this

I don't wanna wait another minute

Put me out of my misery

I can read your mind baby you're not in it

And we're not what we used to be

No, you wouldn't have to lie to me

If you would only let me go

And I don't wanna wait another minute to hear

Something that I already know

We can not hide what we've become

So sick and tired of being numb

It's done, it's done

It's done

I don't wanna wait another minute

Put me out of my misery

I can read your mind baby you're not in it

And we're not what we used to be

No, you would't have to lie to me

If you would only let me go

And I don't wanna wait another minute to hear

Something that I already know

I know, I know, I know

Something that I already know

I know, I know, I know

Something that I already know

I know, I know, I know

I know, 'cause I know

GO LISTEN!!!

a for alone

In the end, I'm still here all by myself.

Alone. Only with me, myself and I and no one else..

Not even you are here..

I'm really tired of doing this and going through this again and again.. I'm just too naive to think that things will be different. I said it once twice thrice to myself and I knew it since what will happen next..

Never felt this cold.. That's not how I'm supposed to feel.. Not when I'm with you.. The coldness is what scares me.. Makes me feel like giving up..

wasted days..

Seriously need to be more productive and yeah, stop playing so much games.. Stop completely is impossible, its a way of reliving stress :D But then.. Half of my holidays was spent on computer, not sleep or anything else.. Its kinda become excess..

Haven't start on my proficiency test yet. Next week, I'm dead for sure.. Sigh. Lazy me. And there's so much to be done.. Yet, I've no mood for them.. :(

Now I'm no longer looking forward to Christmas.. Unless I've a good news later today, or else its just.. Me alone again..

I'm SO disappointed D: but I won't let it show too much

s-c-r-e-a-m

1 week of holiday had passed and I haven done anything yet. Seriously need to take time management course if available cause I sucks at it. Wanted to plan but 101% I won't go according to it.. AHHHHHH! So what the point of planning in the first place right? Waste paper.. =.="

I'm looking forward to Christmas but it only mean one thing, holiday is ending. And if I don't send my resume by then, I'm dead. But I don't know where I wanna go D: Maybe I sort of have an idea but I'm rusty now :(( HELP.

Okay.. I've used 4 BUTS so far.. Dots..

So bored at home.. GO out no $$$ Why they never call me anymore.. Should have went for the APEC D: