Day 37

4th day in baking. 2nd day making bread.

2 man down today, more things to do, more stress..

Made pate a choux.. The process of making the mixture is easy.. Its only the piping part.. I realised I really had no talent in piping stuff.. We used stencil to ensure that the sizes are the same, however, the stencil doesn't really have any use to me.. It looks easy but its not.. The amount of pressure applied to the piping bag is very important..

I see my friends pipe like so easy, everything come out very uniform.. Then when I try.. Its either worm or some messed up shapes. -.-" And it supposed to be circle.. When I finally get the hang of the shape, its either too fat or too small. Another -.-" Sigh.

For the bread side, basically is just make some breads.. The steps for making bread are all the same.. Mix, ferment, cut, rest, roll, proof, done. But its very fun! I like to fold the dough and roll the dough.. Hehe. Entertaining.. We can't handle the dough for too long though.. We make some soft rolls, focaccia, walnut and dates bread..

Even though there's lesser people in our team today, everything still went very smoothly.. And we completed everything on time! I can't really remember what else we did though.. Too much for a day.. I just know that at the end of the day, me and steph was told to explain how to make pate a choux during lecture.. -.-"

So during lecture, we take turns to explain the steps.. And of course, we received some weird questions.. Questions that I don't know the answer.. So I just use my knowledge to answer, and some are wrong.. Haha. Expected. I don't know what to say in front of the group that I sort of keep repeating the same thing.. Everything is caused by the eggs and the air.. -.-" That's very funny.. The answer that I received from my chef before I left class doesn't help at all during the "questioning".. Anyway, I think we did a good job today..

After lecture, went to discuss the cc.. I'm soooo tired..

Present tense

Currently I felt like the building.. Going to be absorbed by the clouds (tiredness).. I'm looking for a way to relief my stress.. Too bad I now bankrupt.. If not, I can EAT. Haha.. Actually I added this picture here is due to the very obvious fact that my blog is full of words and more words.. So I'm trying to brighten up with a few pictures here and there.. Haha.

By the way.. This picture is taken by me :) It is taken on a black cloudy day when my mood is extremely bad.. This scene just fits perfectly back then.. Now maybe not that black.. Just a little overworked?

And I need to bake for my junior.. I miss band.. I miss my beloved euphonium.. I miss music.. I miss the time when I actually have the time to have fun.. I miss the old me.. Though I can't really remember.. Haha.. I miss my friends, those I never see for a very long time.. At least for a year.. I miss the times we all go crazy together.. I miss my classmates.. And I know we can never be the same again.. I miss my teachers.. They're great.. I miss my grandma, I always do.. But I can't see her anymore in this lifetime.. And I miss you, everyday every hour every minute every second.. I don't even know why, but I just do..

If only there's such thing as time machine.. Then I can travel back in time to undo all those things that went wrong.. Too bad there's ain't such thing.. If it exists, I guess nobody will actually cherish all those people around them.. I'm cherishing all the time I have now, cause life is really short.. And unpredictable.. Every second, someone passed away.. And more babies are born.. When will it be my turn, I don't know.. But at least now, whenever I can, I'm going to let the people who are important to me, know that how much they mean to me.. Then if anything happen, I mean IF, I have no regrets.. Cause they know what I wanna say..

I will try my best not to emo anymore.. Its really not part of my personality.. Just that lately, its really hard to smile.. Especially in school.. There's no reason for me to SMILE like (: Not even in that mood.. Back home, its pretty much the same.. Me, myself and I. Luckily, all these had become part of my daily routine so doesn't really make any difference.. But thank goodness, I still have one supporting pillar.. Or maybe two.. However, if these two pillars fall too.. I think that will be the end of me..

0.0

Today's mood was quite alright.. Thanks to a special someone (:

I'm feeling so much better already.. I'm just so tired that I couldn't think straight.. Sigh.

Anway, glad the worst is almost over.. Today was supposed to have my dining experience.. But they end up postponing it for no reason.. Almost thought today no need to eat the canteen food.. -.-" Tomorrow will be eating there.. Which is a good thing cause I really no money now.. I've used up my whole week allowance.. On taxi fare.. $21.20.. Plus today I eat alot for lunch.. -.-" But I still think the taxi fare is worth it.. Hehe :D

I'll finally update on the official blog entry after I completed my tasks for the commis challenge.. Luckily, typing is a very easy thing to do :)

haiz

Sad to say I still wake up as usual today.. Except that I woke up with cramps.. Sigh.

Today is as bad as yesterday.. Went to library to return books.. Thought of finding some books to read and hide inside the stories.. But all those that I'm interested in are either on loan or read before..

Was so moody that I bought a alcoholic drink and drink it on the way home.. Now my head still spinning.. But not cause of the drink.. Anyway, it didn't help at all.. And I seriously have no mood to update on the blog.. About what happened in school.. Nothing happy in school happened at all.. Just pure unhappiness. Pure torture. Whether you admit or not, doesn't matter.. Its quite obvious to me that you're biased. But I no longer care. I don't wanna care anymore..

What is the reason for my existence? It doesn't really help at all when my family don't understand me either. I think I really not suitable to be living in this world..

...

In the end, I'm still alone.. So much things have happened in just these few months.. Too much for me to handle.. I'm so tired.. Felt like giving up on everything.. Felt like going to sleep and just sleep forever..

I'm just a stranger to you.. A person of no importance.. Wonder why do I ever exist.. The world won't change just because I'm not here. Nothing will change.. No one will care.. Everything that I had, everything that I knew.. Was just a lie. As much as I wanted to believe, its just a lie.. I guess I'm just too stupid to think that such things actually exist..

I really hope that I won't wake up tomorrow..

Westlife - you don't know..

(Oh yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah)

Nobody knows me yet everyone knows my name
Some people judge me, not knowing that I'm the same
Thanks for the offer but I keep my old friends always
But then I get lonely, counting the endless days
Are you here for me at all?
Do you care for me at all?
Well this time now I know
I ain't standing alone no more
'Coz all I want is love
Someone who can share the pain I feel
And the eyes that stare
Won't stare at me no more
'Coz all I need is time
Time for me to open up and show
The person I am
The person you think you know
You don't know, you don't know
Some heartfelt emotions, creeping from deep inside
'Coz being this person is all I've got left to hide
Were you here for me at all?
Did you care for me at all?
Last time I was told I ain't standing alone no more
All I need is love
Someone who can share the pain I feel
And the eyes that stare
Won't stare at me no more
And all I need is time
Time for me to open up and show
The person I am
The person you don't know
You don't know, you don't know

This song is great. Perfect for now.. I think I lost it somewhere.. Sigh..

sigh

I'll update tomorrow or on Sunday.. Was exhausted.. So stressed..
I think I'm going insane with all these nonsense..

Don't know why but I kind of looking forward to the last day of my life.

Westlife songs seriously describe my feelings perfectly.. All time favourite.. No matter what I'm feeling, there's always a song for it.. Same for taylor swift.. But westlife have more songs..

Sigh. I wish I can just fall asleep and don't ever wake up..

Day 36

3rd day! Survived half the week.. YEAH~!

Today from the muffins people, I became the bread people.. So start off with making ciabatta? a kind of bread.. Mise en place was already prepared by the previous bread people so just need to measure the water.. However, its at 25degrees.. -.-" I have to add quite alot of ice to reach the temperature.. Dots. Then put into the mixer.. Get scolded again by almost using the wrong machine.. -.-"

After the dough is done, we let it ferment and went to make the tortilla dough.. And roll it into balls.. At first I not sure how to do it, the surface didn't come out smooth enough.. Then chef show me how to do it and it became a piece of cake! Haha.. So fun to roll things.. :)

When the fermentation is done, we fold it and let it ferment again. After that we cut it into 8 parts and let it rest for 10mins.. After that we stretch and put in on hotel pan. And proof it. Then went to do stewarding awhile then move on to bagels.

Making the bagels using the mise en place prepared.. Once the dough is done, we bring it to the table and start to fold and roll it.. Then we make them into long rolls and make a ring to form the bagels. So fun. Just like the tortilla dough, once you got the hang of it. Its really easy to do and you can complete it faster.

Then we prepare mise en place for foccacia. I sliced the onions.. Sad to say, they're not very uniform.. After skills camp and production stock side, I didn't really cut alot onions.. Haha. And I can't cook at home for the past 1 month.. So rusty. Haha.. Anyway I mixed it with the olive oil and roast inside the oven.. That's about all the things I've done today..

We didn't have food tasting today cause we were late for lecture.. Sigh. I was really looking forward to eat all those freshly baked food.. But no choice.. Sigh.. Lecture was quite funny today.. We laugh alot.. Haha..

After that went to see our mentor for comis challenge and listen to the answers for the test.. I realised I got alot of the questions wrong. -.-" My grades sure going to be humilating. I have to rush off earlier from the meeting cause I had something on.. As I was late already, I ran in the rain. Guess what? The so called safety boots that can walk on slippery surface without making you slip, made me fell. Both my knees scratch and bleed. It had been quite long since I last fell, I wasn't enjoying at all. -.-" And my boots one of the tip got chip off. XX -.-" The worst thing is, I can't find my new shoe polish to attempt to cover it..

I'm just so tired and hurt.

Day 35

2nd day.. It is not any better than yesterday.. Still get scolded as much.. Except for different reasons..

Made muffins again today.. Completed in less than an hour.. YEAH~! I managed to turn the tray around without dropping anything.. :) Then after that we were told to do stewarding and the muffin batter..

The batter.. Measuring the amount required is okay.. Except for the part where I mixed up the baking soda and baking powder.. -.-" When it comes to making the batter.. It is really DOTS. We're doing it for the first time so assembling the equipment is already a problem. Same goes for incorporating the mixture.. We didn't know when to add what and the speed for the mixer so naturally we do the wrong things.. And we got scolded for doing wrong things and too slow.. For the batter I think we spent more than 1hour mixing it.. -.-" But at least now we know what to do in the future..

Then I scoop the chocolate cookies dough to form cookies, cut the 1-2-3 dough, prepare mise en place for bagels, and more stewarding.. That sums up the whole day.. At the end of the class, we have food tasting session! Finally.

Chef starts by going through all the breads, muffins, cookies, cakes, strawberry truffle, lemon meringue tartlet, bagel and creme brulee.. Telling us how to see if they're being cooked in the right way.. Then we get to taste them.. All tasted not bad.. I like the flat bread! Extremely nice..(^.^)

Supposed to have baking lectures but we didn't read up on the topics so was postpone to tomorrow instead.. -.-" Which means school will end even later.. Plus have to meet for cc.. Today's lecture on the top restaurants in the world which is quite interesting.. We also watch a video on the world best restaurant.. Felt like going there to eat.. The food looks so interesting and delicious.. I wanna try the apple caviar! But doubt it will be possible.. Only accept 55guests per day.. Just in one day, full reservation for the whole year.. 55chefs serves 55guests.. 1 chef to 1 guest.. You can just imagine the quality of the service.. Sigh. The standard of top restaurant..

Day 34

First day at baking & pastry.. Just half the day I'm already exhuasted.. And I'm sick.. Sort of.. Lucky now feeling better..

Today didn't went as smoothly as I thought it will.. There's so much to do.. I made blueberry muffin with crumble mix as garnish, chocolate muffin with walnut, prepare mise en place for mudslide cookies.. Then go for 30mins lecture.. Sound easy right? So that's a very good question why I'm feeling so tired.. If I "don't really" have much things to do.. -.-"

For the muffin its considered easy cause just incorporate the garnish to the batter which is already done and measure out each cup.. But that took us around 1hour? I think its caused by we don't know where are the ingredients plus we don't really know how to do.. During the process we got scolded a few times.. You can hear the chef keep asking is my muffins ready, is my muffins ready and that question was being asked for more than 15times I think.. -.-" Every 2mins once.. Haha. Then after we put the muffins into the convention oven, the chef now says your muffins are overcooking! Haha..

After that clean up abit and I went to help to prepare mise en place for oatmeal for awhile.. Then I convert to doing soft rolls.. Actually all of us changed to do the soft rolls cause it was the most important thing to do according to the chef.. So we cut the dough which was done earlier by classmates and roll into small balls..

Next is the mudslide cookies mise en place...................... This is also where I get scolded the most.. -.-" I asked questions and somehow cause of the answers I get, I think I asked stupid questions.. -.-" But I really don't know if not why I ask? Sigh.. If I know why should I ask again.. First day already bad, tomorrow I hope will be better..

Lunch I had mee rebus again.. I think by now the auntie know who am I already.. The girl who everyday eat mee rebus cause there's nothing else to eat.. -.-" I miss fish&co.. Haha. Back from lunch I continue doing mise en place.. Measuring the amount is easy.. This is the difference from production.. In production, you get scolded by using hands. Here, you get scolded by using spoons.. Reason is, its faster to use your hands. Quoting from the chef, you won't forget to bring your hands out of your house. Haha XD

So yesterday I was hoping that I'll be handling chocolate today.. And I did. But it wasn't what I had in mind.. I had to hunt the whole kitchen down for 3 different chocolates.. Measure, swop them and crush them.. Its not fun at all... Not when you have 2 huge bowls of big chunk of chocolates.. And you chop them using chef knife.. Next you know what happen? After awhile your hand turned into chocolate.. So tempted to eat them.. 55%cocoa.. Its not easy to do because 1. they are big or there's alot 2. time constraint 3. pressure 4. keep cutting the wrong way cause I don't understand what the chef want.. How to understand when somebody only say one word. It can mean alot things.. I tried 3 or 4 times still wrong then the chef give up and demo for me..

Next time if I don't understand I think I just say chef, can you show me how you want me to do it? -.-" I hope that won't be considered as a dumb question.. But overall the process is fun (: So not that bad I guess.. The lecture also ended early.. At around 3.05pm.. If everyday end this early, that will be great.. But its too good to be true.. Cause tomorrow there's a lecture at 4pm.. And I'm seriously not looking forward to it.. Today so tired.. Tomorrow doing same thing so will be equal or more tired.. -.-"

I just remembered I'm going to dine at top table next Monday.. I just saw the menu.. :( I wanna mix and match the appetiser and dessert.. :( Sad. I wanna make onion soup! Maybe I'll start making my chickie stock.. Haha.. Those instand ones are really salty.. -.-" Can cause hypertension and blah blah blah.. Oh well.. I finally created a facebook.. And the sad thing is I don't really know how to use it.. Its kinda complicated in a way.. I can't change things can't add pictures and I'm not really interested in playing the games there (I got better games to play! & mafia I already level 131 somewhere else.. Too lazy to start over.. Its not that fun anyway).. I'm too tired to figure it out.. Think I'll just add people and let it rot there.. Haha! Till I figure out a way..

(:

Today the sotong club is formed by the 3 sontongs.. Haha..

After 2 years, we finally have time to go out as trio again.. Quite fun (: We all changed alot.. Go to different schools.. If your in my school we can kill crabs together.. Haha.. Wait for my cake ^^ 100% nice to eat.. Cause I baked it.. Hehe..

My 1st visit to Fish&Co.. Ate the fish and chips and black pepper sting ray.. Both is good. But the fish is nicer.. Haha. Of course, its FISH & Co.. Naturally fish is better.. For the quality of food served, the service and the portion, I would say its really worth the price.. $13.90 for a huge portion, why not try it? XP Felt like going again.. I think I can finish the whole plate by myself cause its soooo good to eat.. This reminds me that from tomorrow onwards I have to eat that engine food again.. -.-" I missed black pepper pork chops from design.. Sigh..

By the way.. I went to school on Friday to print the notes.. I've printed all recipes from the kitchen and the reading materials.. Guess what? I used up one whole packet of paper (500) plus 1/3.. I had a hard time carrying them home.. Luckily I print finish by the time the computer lab close.. I start from 1 plus all the way to 5 plus.. I don't know why so long.. Tried to print the balance sheet for goventure again but it only come out one page.. -.-" Waste my paper..

In conclusion, today is one of my happiest day so far.. Cause I ate delicious food, meet up with my 2 best friends and my dear (:

Tomorrow is the start of a new chapter in the kitchen.. Hope everything went smoothly and I will not trip at that stupid place again. -.-" SO embarrassing..

sick

Last day of holiday and I'm having a flu and a cough. -.-"
Note: I don't have swine flu. T.T

Hope will recover by the time I wake up.. Cause I'm going to eat Fish & Co :)
My 1st time there.. Heard that the food is great.. After lunch, I'll officially declare that I'm bankrupt.. Today I'm broke. After today, I've bankrupt. -.-" But I think spending money on food is worth it.. Haha.

I'm deprived of ice cream. I'm still waiting for edie to make me fried ice cream.. Haha.

Ok.. I think I seriously need to start playing sports again.. Ever since I go into poly, I never really go play badminton like I did before.. I felt like going for a long walk in a place where the scenery is great, play badminton, cycle (but I'm extremely rusty and I'm not kidding about that), roller blade, ice skating, fly a kite, jog?, eat ice cream & chocolate, bake a chocolate cake, fishing? Haha.. I think I played too much sims 3.. I wanna go library too!

Who is interested in any of the activities above? Haha..

love?

Is there such thing as unconditioned love?

Avril lavigne - too much to ask
It's the first time I've ever felt this lonely,
Wish someone cure this pain
It's funny when you think it's gonna work out
Till you chose weed over me you’re so lame
I thought you were cool until the point,
Up until the point you didn't call me when you said you would
Finally figured out you're all the same,
Always coming up with some kind of story
Every time I try to make you smile,
You're always feeling sorry for yourself
Every time I try to make you laugh,
You can't your too tough
You think you're loveless
Is that too much that I’m askin for?
Thought you'd come around when I ignored you,
Sorta thought you'd have the decency to change
But babe I guess you didn't take that warning,
’Cause I'm not about to look at your face again
Can't you see that you lie to yourself?
You can't see the world through a mirror
It won't be too late when the smoke clears
’Cause I, I am still here
But every time I try to make you smile,
You'd always grow up feeling sorry for yourself
Every time I try to make you laugh,
You stand like a stone,
Alone in your zone
Is that too much that I’m askin for?
Yeah-eya yeah-eya
Can't find where I am, lying here alone in fear,
Afraid of the dark, no one to claim alone again
YEAH-EYA EYA EYA
Can't you see that you lie to yourself?
You can't see the world through a mirror,
It won't be too late when the smoke clears
’Cause I, I am still here
Every time I try to make you smile,
You're always feeling sorry for yourself
Every time I try to make you laugh,
You can't your too toughYou think you're loveless
It was too much that I asked him for

Taylor swift - thats the way i loved you
He is sensible and so incredible
And all my single friends are jealous
He says everything I need to hear and it's like
I couldn't ask for anything better
He opens up my door and I get into his car
And he says you look beautiful tonight
And I feel perfectly fine
But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name
You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breakin' down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you
He respects my space
And never makes me wait
And he calls exactly when he says he will
He's close to my mother
Talks business with my father
He's charming and endearing
And I'm comfortable
But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name
You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breakin' down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you
He can't see the smile I'm faking
And my heart's not breaking
Cause I'm not feeling anything at all
And you were wild and crazy
Just so frustrating intoxicating
Complicated, got away by some mistake and now
I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
It's 2am and I'm cursing your name
I'm so in love that I acted insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breaking down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you oh, oh
And that's the way I loved you oh,
Never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you

daffy

NAS! I was unpacking my stuff then I saw this.. Still remember? Haha.. You're being missed!

Holiday is ending.. Sigh..

Baking & pastry.. I haven't start reading the how baking works book yet..

Nor the CIA book.. I can't bake at home yet cause no space in kitchen..

Need to clear out all those boxes first..

I want to make chocolate!!! I'm addicted to chocolate recently.. XD

I hope I'll be learning how to make chocolate first.. I won't mind either if I start with ice cream..

Haha! I'm not looking forward to the end of holiday yet I'm looking forward to make and eat all those food. Haha. Never mind, I'm trying to gain weight anyway.. :)

Renovation completed

After 3 weeks of renovation, my room is finally done. Now left the unpacking part which is -.-" same as packing the stuff..

Some funny things about my new wardrobe.. I can fit myself inside with lots space left.. And its as tall as my room.. If I want to reach for the top shelf, I'll need a chair.. The shelves above my bed is looking extremely weird.. It was totally different from what I plan.. I requested for those shelves.. Now I'm regretting.. I can't reach it at all.. Too high up. If I place my alarm clock up there, I sure will wake up.. Know why? I have to stand on my bed in order to off it. Thus, the shelves is too high not I too short.. Haha.

4 more days to the end of holidays.. So much to do, so little time.. Felt like playing some sports but I'm a little lazy.. :P

Meeting Mh and Sq on Sunday.. It had been at least 2 years since the 3 of us went out together.. Hopefully, we won't cancel it. (:

Sigh

I haven't been updating since last week? I'm still lazy about the pictures.. There's some problems with uploading of pictures.. It takes a long time to upload a picture and the picture is always at the same position.. Maybe I just don't know how to use it..

So many things had happen in just 2 weeks of holiday.. Now just left with 4 more days to school start.. Though its baking and pastry now, I'm not quite looking forward to the first day of school.. Holiday is just too short.. I don't think I rest well enough.. With my house renovating, its really hard to have a good night sleep or even wake up late.. And I'm sleeping on the floor for the past few weeks.. -.-" My neck hurts.. Dots.

18 years had past.. And I'm still the same.. Same old ignorant girl. Immature. The only thing that is different is that I'm not longer that violent.. Those who know me since primary school or kindergarten, you should be able to see the difference in me. I rather be that violent girl in the past than who I am now.. I don't feel like me anymore.. If you tell me you don't understand me, I get what you mean.. Cause I don't understand myself either.. Don't ask me why cause I don't know..

I seriously think I'm going to be sick soon.. Been feeling unwell recently.. So tired.. I still don't know if I should go for the operation.. Sigh..

I'm sorry for letting you into my life and hurting you this way.. I know what I should do now.. Even if it'll kill me in the process..

im sorrie

Sorry Ed, I can't upload the pictures cause its too sparkling.. My phone keep flashing and I can't take a picture of it clearly..

PS I'm really really very sorry about everything..

(:

Left 6more minutes to the end of the day..

Though its not perfect.. Its good.. So far..

So.. Happy birthday to me (:

I hope I'll be more happy and mature.. Sort of.. Hehe.

SIMS 3

YEAH~! I got sims 3 now (^.^)

THANK YOU VERY MUCH, AL~!

feeling weird

I think I going to be sick soon.. I tried the chef J remedy for preventing sickness.. I think my ratio is wrong.. Extremely sour despite the amount of honey added..

My legs pain due to me wearing that killer heels whole day yesterday.. -.-" I need to buy a new pair of shoes.. My pump got a big hole behind.. -.-" I don't know why.. And its flatened. Haha!

I got sore throat for eating too much chocolates.. But I'm still addicted to them.. XP Who cares about sore throat when all those chocolates are in front of you? My intake of ice cream had greatly reduced for no reason.. -.-"

My stomach feel weird now.. I think somebody sure going to scold me for not having a complete meal at all for the whole day.. -.-" And to think what's my occupation? Dots.. Irony..

That someone is jealous cause I didn't write anything about him.. Haha. But I still not writing.. Yet. Wahahahahahaha~ *poke*

movie marathon

I'm still a little lazy to upload all those photos on the buffet.. Hehe. I haven't received some of them too.. :(

Last Saturday, I watched angels & demons.. Just like what everybody said, the movie was great :) Wednesday, I watched terminator.. The story was okay.. Today, I watched ghost of the girlfriends' past.. Worth spending money to watch.. I'm not telling you the story or its not fun to watch it anymore.. Anyway, its quite touching.. Tomorrow, I'm going to watch blood, the last vampire.. Saturday, I going to watch another show? Haha. All the movies available, I'm watching or I've watched. What a movie week! Next Monday, I'm watching the night at the museum 2. Haha. Can become movie critic now.. :P

Its my day just 2 days later.. Looking forward to it.. Sort of.. Going for my grandma death anniversary.. It had been 6 years since she passed away.. I felt guilty.. I can't help but have this feeling that I am responsible for her death.. I remember that day was my birthday when I visited her.. It was Friday the 13th. I massaged her shoulder, played with her and talk to her.. She had a tumour in her brain which caused her to forget things easily.. But she didn't forget me.. Her darling, that's what she used to call me..

The next day she was rushed to the hospital because she choked on something.. Then she's in coma.. We weren't allowed to go into the hospital due to the sars outbreak.. It's only 6 days later when I was allowed to visit her.. On 19th June.. She's still in coma when I talk to her and held her hands.. I see tears flowing out so I knew she heard what I say.. I told her I'll visit her again tomorrow.. That very night, she left..

One of the things that I regretted is I didn't tell her how much I loved her.. Its kind of coincidental that things happened to her just after I visited her.. If I didn't visit her on that Friday and bring unluckiness to her, will she live longer? If I've asked her to wait for my visit again tomorrow and tell her I love her, can I still see her the next day? But if I didn't visit her, and she left, I don't even get the chance to speak to her..

That day, I lost someone of great importance to me.. Someone who love me for me.. Someone who really understands me and is proud of who I am.. She was my hero, saving me when I was young.. She took great care of me, giving me everything that I wanted.. If only I can see her once again, hear her voice.. Hear her calling my name.. If only there's a time machine.. I'll give anything to tell her how much she means to me and I love her very much.. If only I could.. I really miss her alot.. :(

You were once my one companion
You were all that mattered
You were once a friend and father
Then my world was shattered...
Wishing you were somehow here again
Wishing you were somehow near
Sometimes it seemed
If I just dreamed
Somehow you would be here
Wishing I could hear your voice again
Knowing that I never will
Dreaming of you won't help me to do
All that you dreamed I would.
Passing bells and sculpted angels
Cold and monumentle
Seem for you the wrong compainons
You were warm and gentle...
Too many yearsFighting back tears
Why can't the past just die...
Wishing you were somehow here again
Knowing we must say goodbye
Try to forgive
Teach me to live
Give me the strength to try
No more memories
No more silent tears
No more gazing across the
Wasted years
Help me say
Goodbye
Help me say
Goodbye...

Cherish all the people you cared and loved.. Don't be afraid to let them know how much they meant to you.. Don't regret like me when it's too late to do anything.. There's no time machine.. Life is unpredictable.. You never know what will happen next.. Forgive and forget.. Bearing grudges only makes you and others lives harder..

To all the people who have made a difference in my life, I really appreciates what you've done for me. Thank you.. To my family and friends, without you, I won't be me anymore.. Life won't be the same without anyone of you..

Gosh. Now I felt like I'm saying my last words.. Growing older means being more matured.. Life span is shorten by one year.. Minus one year to spend with people that I love.. Sigh.. In conclusion, life is really short.. Cherish people around you while you still can..

Day 33

I shall jump to this day first.. Haha. Last day at production kitchen..

I bet nobody will forget this day.. The day where late doesn't matter.. I went to school with Mj today.. Reach school at around 7.20am.. Happily chat and walk to the locker room to change.. Guess what? We tapped our card alot of times, press the button alot of times from the inside, the stupid gate won't open. So much for technology.

The situation is actually quite funny.. People stuck inside and outside.. Then we find teacher to help us open but failed.. As that time is already around 7.40, we had to walk back to tcc to change.. When we came back, I realised I lost my locker keys.. Ran back to toilet, carpark can't find.

By the time we come back from the search, the gate is already opened by the technicians.. Haha. So didn't get to see what happened in the end.. I told Yt that I lost my keys and asked her to remember to take hers.. Then I thought she took out hers and lock the locker with the key inside. Don't ask me why, I'm insane. -.-"

Then we go for roll call and went back to kitchen.. We cleaned up the whole kitchen.. Its very tiring.. There's 16 stations plus all the ovens need to be washed, scrub all stoves, salamander, clean all rack and cabinet.. Its not a easy job. Some of us went to clean the chiller too.. I kneel on the stove till they're very pain (cause can't reach the salamander and the top of oven).. And hands become wrinkled like don't know what.. Don't worry, everybody is going to go through that.. You can seriously have fun washing.. Me and Steph tried to make things easier by using the oven hose, in the end the whole place flooded.. Haha. So much for trying to be more efficient.. But is quite fun so just mop the floor and wipe the stove again.. Hehe.

During break, A helped us to open the locker and unlock the lock.. Phew.. But I still went to look for my keys again.. Under the hot sun. I asked the uncle if he saw my keys lying around when he was at the car park, he said no and went to ask people to help me find. So nice of them. But in the end I give up cause really too hot and can't find.. For some reason, a lot people know I lost my keys.. Dots.

Then after break we went to theatre for demo on Hainanese chicken rice, chilli crab and fried squid. One word, delicious. Haha. After that its the block test.. We had it at the top table.. 15minutes.. I got at least 5 wrong. SAD. :(:(:(:( I'm going to miss production.. On the bright side, its holiday now and I'm going to baking and pastry when school reopen! And its operation!

Oh. I just remembered today no ghost whisperer.. It ended last week.. Sigh. Friday nights empty now..

PS People if you have pictures that I don't have please send me.. THANK YOU! ^^

& Happy birthday TSQ BFF!

Preparing for buffet

Okay, I'm outdated again.. Before I show you the food, here's how it looks like before it start..

This is overall how the dessert table will look like :)

This is how the 2 tables look like..

Action station for Asian vietnamese summer roll

Action station for Garde manger, caesar salad

This is where I cook (: In the production kitchen!

That's all for the setting for the buffet at the family area!

Error

Due to the irritaing internet problem, I'm unable to update and upload pictures for the last day at production kitchen.. -.-" I shall try again tomorrow..

So I just wanna say

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO! (^.^)

PS You'll get your present tomorrow.. XP

Gemini ^^

I just saw this.. True/false? Haha..

Lets101 Quizzes - fun Myspace quiz

PS buffet details will be up tomorrow (:

Day 32

I forgot to write one thing that we did yesterday.. Preserved capsicums.. I was cutting those capsicums for the paella and there was a box of leftovers.. To prevent the capsicums from spoiling after 2 weeks, we were told to preserve them.. First we charred the capsicums in the big convention oven.. Then we remove the skin and the seeds.. This is the irritating part.. After removing from oven, we cover the bowl of capsicums with cloth to steam it.. The skin now became very soft.. However, its still very difficult to remove the flesh from the skin.. And we have alot of flesh to remove? The glass bottles used must be sterilised before using and after adding the flesh and olive oil to the bottle.. Guess what? A bottle of preserved capsicums or any others like jam, homemade ones can sell up to 30dollars per bottle. $.$ Next time if I'm jobless can make them to sell.. Haha.

Back to what happen today.. Its the big day for everybody as we're preparing the BUFFET. Everything went smoothly and the food is great. But the ending when we cleaning up.. There's so much to do.. However, our chef told us that other instructors commented that the food prepared by us is best among all the others.. Hehe. Sure give us a great sense of achievement (: The pictures of the food will be shown in another post.. You will get to view them once I finished editing.. :P We also took a picture with our chefs!

Tomorrow is the last day at the production.. We're cleaning up the WHOLE production kitchen.. And the walk in chiller.. Plus we have the test.. MCQ 20qns.. Luckily. Tomorrow also have demo on the crabs and squid again (can eat again ^^) and the hainanese chicken rice! After that is holiday! Must work hard to earn money :)

Day 31

Day 31, we still don't have much to do today... Yet, I'm still very tired and sleepy..

I woke up late today.. Rush out, missed 4 bus.. Including the 6.30 8 and 59 and 6.45 8 and 59.. -.-" So I waited till 6.50 plus then I board 8.. Throughout the whole journey, the bus kept stopping due to traffic light and moved very slowly.. Make me even more nervous.. I thought today I would be late for the 1st time.. When reaching Eunos, I saw alot of taxi around empty.. At that time, its already 7.25am.. And we've to report in like 20mins time? So I took the risk and went down to flag a taxi.. Luckily, one came just as I hopped out of 8.. Reached school at 7.31.. Spent $6.75.. At least I wasn't late.. Phew.. I broke the record today by finish changing and getting ready to report in 4mins! Haha. Though I can change fast, I think I rather to have more time.. Rushing is bad for my health. Will suffer from heart attack.. -.-"

When we go down to the production kitchen, we measure the rice required for paella and set aside.. Then remove the beards for the mussels.. Remove the intestines from the prawns.. And prepare chicken consomme. Chef taught us how to use the robot coupe today.. Its also known as the food processor.. Quick and easy way to cut brunoise.. 

We add mirepoix, minced meat and egg white to the big pot.. Pour chicken stock and chicken consomme into the pot. (The chicken consomme was being defrosted so we used it, so the consomme we did today is double consomme ^^) It was extremely clear.. We tasted it with and without seasoning, it was very different.. After seasoning with sea salt, the taste was enhanced.

Before break, we tried the seafood paella done by one of our instructors.. As its a spanish dish, saffron was used. I don't really like the taste and smell of saffron so I didn't enjoy the dish.. So I went to steward instead.. Chef show us how to pan fry the salmon for the buffet tomorrow.. It looks very easy but can be easily burnt.. The root vegetables that goes along with it was seasoned with cajun spice.. It was too spicy for me..

After break, chef demo how to make the paella. The most important thing in the dish is cooking the rice well.. You can add any ingredients to it, but its not a paella if your rice fail. Anyway, its a must to taste.. So I tasted the paella, again. Surprisingly, the taste of saffron is mild, I almost couldn't taste it at all, which is great. (: This make up for the lunch I skipped earlier on..

Then we have nothing to do again.. So we prepare the equipment for tomorrow and clean up the area.. Garde manger brought us some caesar salad to taste with croutons. For a non salad fan like me, I find the taste just nice. The dressing is appropriate and tasted good. Tomorrow there's so many salad out there, I think I will be looking forward to try all.. (:

There's so much to see and eat tomorrow.. Can hardly wait! Luckily we were allowed to bring our phone upstairs to take pictures.. I can't find my camera anywhere.. So this is a extremely good piece of news.. Haha. 

10 more days! Hope it will be a happy one..

materialistic

I suddenly have this extremely random question.. If enjoy buying and using branded clothes, bags and shoes, is consider materialistic.. Does choosing the nicer brand of ice cream considered materialistic too? I don't care what brand of clothes, bags or shoes I'm wearing or using.. But I do care about the brand of the ice cream.. Cause some is really a waste of money.. Haha. Not nice to easy at all.. Waste money spoil stomach.. So does that considered materialistic? I don't know why I'm so tired and sleepy still thinking of such question.. Instead of trying to solve the lemon case study.. I still don't really know how to write the recipe.. Though I've written for myself before.. -.-" And my basic entrepreneurship report, though I've submitted at least 3 weeks ago.. I still haven't receive my feedback yet.. T.T I don't want to do last minute work :(

I know its childish but I wanna watch ice age 3!!! I'm not very mature anyway.. XD

Day 30

2nd day at Sugarloaf side and we still don't have much to do.. Yet, surprisely, despite the fact that I woke up later than I should be, I'm very tired and sleepy :( Maybe its due to the weird weather we're having..

Today is quite similar to yesterday.. Except that we did some mise en place for the demo on seafood paella tomorrow, defrost some frozen prawns, kill some clams, try the disgusting clams :(.. Its so different from what my mum made. Same as outside, got the stinky taste. (>.<) Then we got nothing to do.. So we cut the vegetables for thursday buffet and keep them.. *Capsicum is so hard to cut fast.. -.-"*

We're so free that chef told us to prepare onion soup.. Haha. 900g of sliced onions.. Slice until I almost wanna cry.. "cry". Chef wanted us to slice as thin as a sheet of paper.. T.T I only managed for the half of them?

After break (I didn't eat mee rebus today.. Bored of it.. Tried the bee hoon.. Its edible but.... Sigh.) we cooked the soup.. Saute the onions till they're very brown.. I don't know why we're using such a short wooden spoon to stir.. As we use the chicken stock to deglaze, the steam burn my hand.. Become red colour.. Then the stupid steam fog my glasses make me can't see properly.. So troublesome wearing specs.. -.-"

Anyway, my soup tasted great! Too bad I can only taste.. Not drink.. :( SAD. Tomorrow we're making chicken consomme cause we're too free again.. Haha. Friday there's production test.. And I don't know what to study.. -.-" Hopefully will be easy..

And today's lecture is a disaster.. Wasted 1hour.. Tomorrow have to go again to make up for today.. -.-" Can't even go home earlier this week.. I'm soooo tired.. D: Yet I still have that case study which I don't know how to do.. On the bright side, my mum bought me lemons today.. Can try chef J's lemon drink.. Haha. So much for being positive..

Sims 3 out today! But I not buying yet.. -.-" I need to work more.. ))):

Day 29

Though there's nothing much to do today, I felt extremely tired and sleepy.. Sorry kwa for changing my mind about going to library with you :(

Checking of attire during roll call was done very quickly, which is very lucky for me.. I've a small yellow stain on my sleeve don't know why.. -.-" Then we went into the theater and had lecture on classic & modern buffet and how to present the food. The lecture went on from 8am to 11am. I kept myself awake by copying all the words from the slides :D So hardworking of me.. Haha. When the lecturer/chef is changing the slides quickly and the slides are full of words, it really hard not to stay awake.. The topic today is quite interesting too, full of delicious looking food ^^

After eating the up sized mee rebus, we went back to the production kitchen to prepare the mise en place for Thursday buffet.. This week, my group and I are at the Sugarloaf side.. So we'll be preparing all the food for the buffet that is under production.. Except for soups..

There's alot things that we can't do as its too early.. So we just set up the stations for tomorrow, wash the platters and help out with the production.. Plucking the basil leaves! Haha. Basil smell so much nicer than fish.. But I really starting to miss fabrication now.. :C

As I really have nothing to do, I went to take down the menu for the buffet.. Just in case I was being questioned and I have no idea what to say.. The following is the menu for 80pax!!!

Appetizer
- Cured salmon on potato pancakes with mustard dill sauce (GM)
- Scallop seviche in cucumber cup (GM)
- Wrapped shrimp with Asian barbeque sauce (GM)
- Crab cakes with creole honey mustard sauce (GM)
- Chilled vichyssoise with white truffle oil (GM)
- Gazpacho Andalusia (GM)

Salad
- Pomegranate glazed duck breast (GM)
- Lentil and walnut salad (GM)
- Couscous salad with curried vegetables (GM)
- Vietnamese paper rolls with nouc cham sauce (Asian)
- Roasted corn and tomato salad (GM)

Action station
- Caesar salad with parmesan crisp (GM)
- Vietnamese warm beef on cool noodle (Asian)
- Crepe with assorted filling (Pastry and baking)

Soup
- Ginger carrot soup (Production)
- Assorted breads (Pastry and baking)

Main course
- Plain rice (Asian)
- Whipped potato (Top table)
- Roast tubers vegetables (Top table)
- Braised veal cheek in Madeira sauce (Top table)
- Chicken in red curry sauce (Asian)
- Thai seafood cake with cucumber sauce (Asian)
- Seafood paella (production)
- Pan fried salmon with gremolata and root vegetables (production)
- Pan seared cod fish with ratatouille (Top table)

Dessert
- Mini fruit tarts (pastry and baking)
- Mini lemon meringue tarts (PB)
- Raspberry and chocolate mousse (PB)
- Ginger and orange creme brulee (PB)

So much food to eat (^.^) erm, taste.. Haha.. But we only have 45mins! Luckily, its a buffet style.. Thus food will be replenished.. So we don't have to worry about running out of foooood!
PS I wanna be the first to get the crepes! Still can't forget the taste from 2 weeks ago.. :D