Little did I know that I'm feeling down early in the morning, there's a reason behind it.. Frankly speaking, this is written days after it happened.. So I can't really remember what I did today.. Probably about the same as every other day..
The only thing I remember is changing the timing of next day schedule to 3 to 11.. And I was unhappy mainly cause of what ET did.. Sigh..
After work, I was about to go changed, my head chef asked me if I'm free to go to the headquarter with him.. He wanted to introduce me to the higher level.. Of course I said yes. I was about to go to change when my mum called.. It was exactly 5pm..
I answered. She said, my grandfather has left. I got a shocked. She continued, that the exact timing is actually 1plus.. I asked her why she didn't tell me earlier, but she said thats because I'm working.. But... :( I told her I can't go straight cause my chef wanted to bring me to headquarter, she says its okay and I can join them after that since even if I went I can't do anything..
Hang up, changed, sit outside and wait for chef.. Although I'm not very close to him, I couldn't control my tears.. When my chef come out, he saw me crying, he asked.. At first I couldn't bring myself to say it out.. When I did, immediately he asked me to go home..
I said its okay, I have permission from my mum but he still asked me to go.. Then he told me that the rest of the week I don't have to come, he'll cover the duties for me.. I don't feel good about this so I decline the offer.. And after discussing with my mum, I feel that I should go to work as it will keep me from thinking too much.. So I told my chef I'll still come in for work the next day..
I went home to put my stuff and shower before I went to my grandmother's house.. Its just too sudden.. To the extent as if everything is fake.. Just can't believe it.. And the last time I saw him is on Chinese New Year, the only time I said to him, I think, is happy new year, I wish you good health.. :'(
My poor mum.. I know she's sad but she is keeping it in, she looks like she aged over night.. Tried to comfort her but I don't know what to do.. Sigh.. As I'll be working the next day, I went home with brother, dad.. My sister stayed over to accompany my mum..
At night I just couldn't sleep.. Maybe I'm not used to having the room all by myself.. Maybe I'm affected by this.. Maybe I'm very tired but just can't sleep.. Maybe I'm thinking too much.. Maybe I'm just having insomnia.. Maybe maybe maybe.. I just can't sleep..
